Episode Sixty-nine: Jack
Devises Plans to Get Emilio
out of the Loft, and for Jennifer
to Remain at The Spectator.

SCENE ONE: JENNIFER ARRIVES AT SHENANIGAN'S TO MEET DR. GREEN ABOUT HER ARTICLES.

 

JENNIFER: Excuse me Dr. Green, I brought the articles you wanted to see. Dr. Green?

 

THE GUY AT THE TABLE MOVES THE MENU AND IT IS JACK.

 

JENNIFER: (Shocked at seeing him) Jack?

JACK: (Charming, in his slightly slimey sort of way, yet appealing.) Exactly. I ordered some wine. I hope you don't mind.

JENNIFER: What are you talking....what's going on....what are you doing here?

JACK: Well Dr. Green invited me also. Didn't Carol tell you that?

JENNIFER: No she didn't. Where's Dr. Green?

JACK: Well apparently he....the poor man canceled out. He called. I guess he missed you. But we can still do our work. I'll take one pile, you take the other.

 

OBVIOUSLY JACK IS NOT BEING HONEST. HE SET THE WHOLE THING UP TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HAVE LUNCH WITH JENNIFER, AND PRETEND THAT IT IS ONLY A PROFESSIONAL MEETING. JACK ALSO SEEMS TO BE TRYING TO SHOW OFF THAT HE IS MORE SOPHISTICATED THAN EMILIO, AND THUS MAKE EMILIO LOOK BAD. HE DEFINITELY IS HEAD OVER HEELS FOR JENNIFER AND JEALOUS OF EMILIO.

 

SCENE ONE: IT IS EMILIO IS FIRST DAY OF WORK AND HE IS TRYING ON HIS SUIT. JENNIFER PRETENDS TO BE A THUG AND SHE AND EMILIO PLAY AROUND SO HE CAN PRACTICE.

SCENE TWO: MEANWHILE JACK IS ON THE PIER WITH A THUG.

 

JACK: So here's....er....fifty.

THUG: A hundred.

JACK: Oh a hundred, right. You know what to do?

THUG: Act loud and obnoxious.

JACK: That's right. Just be yourself.

THUG: Heh!

JACK: Oh I meant that as a compliment. Look I don't have time to stand around and talk. I'll meet you there tonight.

THUG: I'll be there.

JACK: Good. And remember we don't know each other. We never met.

THUG: What do I look, stupid or something?

JACK: Org....

THUG: I'll see you tonight.

JACK: I'm counting the minutes.

SCENE THREE: BACK AT THE LOFT, EMILIO ASKS JENNIFER TO HELP HIM WITH HIS CUFFLINKS AND STUDS. SHE ADJUSTS HIS TIE AND THEN SHE GIVES HIM A GOOD LUCK KISS. JACK ARRIVES JUST AS SHE IS KISSING HIM. JACK IS SNIDE AND SARCASTIC AS USUAL.

 

JENNIFER: That was for good luck.

EMILIO: That was for good luck huh?

JENNIFER: Hmmm.

JACK: (Well it's not prom night. It must be....let's see....

JENNIFER: Jack.

JACK: First night on the job.

JENNIFER: Jack.

JACK: And let me tell you that you certainly look the part. You look marvelous. I mean you look downright dignified, respectable. Although I think I would have cut the hair, back in '75.

EMILIO: Listen, I should take off. I'll see you later.

JENNIFER: Alright, good luck.

JACK: Whoa, whoa, good luck. I mean it. I really hope it works out.

 

EMILIO TAKES JACK'S HAND.

 

EMILIO: Thanks Bro.

JENNIFER: Goodbye Emilio, I'll see you later.

EMILIO: Okay. Don't wait up for me.

JENNIFER: Okay. Good luck.

EMILIO: Thanks.

 

EMILIO LEAVES.

 

JENNIFER: Alright Jack, what was that all about?

JACK: Oh just a little encouragement.

JENNIFER: Why are you here?

JACK: (Nervously) Well I'm here....well I figured I could give you a ride over to....er....to Wings. Take you there, you know.

JENNIFER: (Kidding) Like on a date?

JACK: (Not admitting that is what he would like it to be.) No, no, not a date! (Trying to pretend it is nothing more.) I figured you'd be going over there for Emilio. I mean it's the first night. Look how nervous the guy was and if you were there, I'm sure that it would make him feel a whole lot better.

JENNIFER: You really mean this don't you?

JACK: Of course I mean it. You're friends aren't you? Close friends. Of course if it's a bad idea we can....

JENNIFER: No, no, it's great idea. I just have to change, that's all.

JACK: Good. Good. I'll meet you in an hour. Pick you up right here.

JENNIFER: Alright, thanks Jack. Meet you in an hour.

JACK: Hmmm.

JENNIFER: Oh Jack, you know sometimes you can be really sweet.

JACK: (Shuddering) No. Little old ladies are sweet, not newspapermen. Don't forget that.

JENNIFER: (Not changing her opinion of Jack.) Okay.

 

JENNIFER SHUTS THE DOOR. JACK IS ALONE OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

 

JACK: Yeah.

SCENE FOUR: AN HOUR LATER JENNIFER WALKS INTO WINGS WITH JACK BEHIND HER. JACK LOOKS GORGEOUS, HE IS WEARING A GRAY WOOL SUIT, NO TIE, AND A BLACK SHIRT.

EMILIO: (He does not look to comfortable in his tux.) Hey Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Hi.

EMILIO: Whoa, looking good.

JENNIFER: Thanks.

JACK: Good evening Emilio.

EMILIO: Hi Deveraux.

JENNIFER: Are you surprised?

EMILIO: Um yeah. I really am surprised.

JENNIFER: Jack brought me here to help support you on your first night.

EMILIO: That was thoughtful of him.

JACK: (Enjoying teasing Emilio.) Yes, you've certainly been doing your job. I haven't seen sight of riff-raff anywhere, for miles! Well Jennifer I guess we should be finding our seat.

JENNIFER: Yeah okay.

EMILIO: See you later. You look really great.

JENNIFER: Thanks. See you later.

JACK: Oh Dave. A bottle of your best champagne please.

DAVE: Certainly.

JACK: Thanks.

JENNIFER: (Happy for Emilio.) Oh it looks like Emilio is doing really well, huh?

JACK: (Glad because if it is then Emilio will be moving out.) Yes, it looks like the job was just meant for him.

JENNIFER: Gosh I hope it all works out. I know how important this is to him.

JACK: Me too. Me too.

SCENE FIVE: AS JACK IS TALKING TO THE THUG HE PAID. THE THUG THEN BEGINS TO MAKE A MOVE ON A WAITRESS. EMILIO ASKS HIM TO LEAVE BUT THE GUY INSULTS EMILIO. BEFORE IT CAN GO ANY FURTHER JENNIFER INTERVENES AND TELLS EMILIO TO CALM DOWN. JACK SIGNALS THE GUY TO KEEP UP THE ABUSE BUT HE BACKS DOWN AND LEAVES. JENNIFER IS THRILLED WITH EMILIO.

 

JENNIFER: You were great, you were so great. You were calm, cool and collected. Like a real pro.

 

SHE KISSES HIS CHEEK.

 

EMILIO: Well you know, all in a day's work.

JACK: That's right. Like he said, the man's just doing his job. Let's stay out of his way okay? The champagne just arrived Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Okay, right. (To Emilio) Really you were wonderful.

 

SHE RETURNS TO THE TABLE.

 

JENNIFER: See Jack how he handled that. A lot of people would have thought that Emilio would have lost control in that situation.

JACK: Yeah I'm glad I didn't bet any money on it.

JENNIFER: I am so proud of him.

JACK: Me too. I guess we really just underestimated him.

 

A SHORT TIME LATER NICK MAKES AN ANNOUNCEMENT THAT HE HAS TO CLEAR OUT WINGS FOR A PRIVATE FUNCTION. HE IS ACTUALLY ABOUT TO MARRY APRIL THERE. HE TELLS EVERYONE TO COME BACK REAL SOON.

 

JACK: We will.

SCENE SIX: EMILIO COMES OVER TO TALK TO JENNIFER AND SHE TELLS HIM ONCE AGAIN HOW PROUD SHE IS OF HIM AND HE SAYS HE'D HOPED THEY COULD HAVE A DANCE.

 

JACK: Well it's time to go.

EMILIO: Hey look we'll get that dance some other time alright?

JACK: Car's waiting. Let's go. Goodbye.

JENNIFER: Goodbye.

SCENE SEVEN: JACK AND JENNIFER ARRIVE BACK AT THE LOFT. SHE OPENS THE DOOR. JACK AND JENNIFER SEEMED TO HAVE ENJOYED THEIR EVENING TOGETHER. JACK IS RELUCTANT TO LEAVE, BUT DOES NOT KNOW *WHAT* TO DO. THEY SHARE AN AWKWARD MOMENT AT THE DOOR.

 

JACK: So....

JENNIFER: So?

JACK: Well here we are.

JENNIFER: Yeah, here we are.

 

THEY START TALKING TOGETHER, NERVOUSLY. JACK TRIES TO STALL THEIR GOODBYE.

 

JACK: Jennifer I.....

JENNIFER: Jack, I was going to tell you that....

JACK: Jennifer I just want....

JENNIFER: Jack I want to tell you that.....

JACK: I just want....

JENNIFER: I just want....

JACK: Okay. I just wanted to say that....er....I thought....er....well I had a pretty good time tonight.

JENNIFER: Yeah. I did too.

JACK: Oh good.

JENNIFER: Thanks for taking me.

JACK: Sure. Sure.

JENNIFER: Well goodnight Jack.

JACK: (Still trying to stall.) Jennifer I....er....I was wondering....

JENNIFER: Yeah?

JACK: Ah....um....we should move that column up on "Around the Town" to the front section.

JENNIFER: Well you already asked me that twice. I don't think we should

JACK: I did?

JENNIFER: Yeah. I don't think we should.

JACK: Oh, of course.

JENNIFER: Okay. Goodnight Jack. I'll see you in the morning.

JACK: Oh Jennifer I was....er....what time is it?

JENNIFER: It's late Jack. It's very late.

JACK: It is. Yes. Well Jennifer I think we....

JENNIFER: Look Jack I have to be at work early in the morning and I'm tired and my feet hurt.

JACK: Yes of course.

JENNIFER: Thank you so much for helping me out with Emilio.

JACK: Sure, sure.

JENNIFER: I really appreciate it.

 

SHE LEANS UP AND KISSES HIS CHEEK. JACK IS SURPRISED AND BLUSHES, BUT SEEMS TO ENJOY THE KISS.

 

JENNIFER: Goodnight Jack, see you in the morning.

JACK: Sure. Jennifer I think that....

 

JACK DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE. BUT JENNIFER SHUTS THE DOOR.

 

JACK: (Somewhat dejected, but still somewhat encouraged.) Well goodnight.

 

SCENE ONE: JENNIFER IS WORKING AND EMILIO COMES DOWN LOOKING FOR SOAP. HE IS WEARING ONLY A TOWEL WRAPPER AROUND HIS WAIST. JENNIFER SEEMS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS, AS HE STRUTS AROUND VERY MACHO. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. JOKING AND ACT ANNOYINGLY CUTE HE PATS HER ON THE HEAD AND GOES TO ANSWER IT. JENNIFER GRIMACES.

 

EMILIO: I'll get the door.

JACK: Oh Emilio. You know I'm sure that Jennifer would give you a nice little frock to go along with that skirt. Just ask her.

EMILIO: You'd like to see that wouldn't you?

JACK: Huh, uh.

 

JENNIFER LAUGHS TO HERSELF.

 

EMILIO: Listen Rich Boy. You don't want me to step outside.

JACK: Why, you'll catch your death of cold out here. There's a big draft. It's just terrible.

JENNIFER: Will you two just knock if off? I'm tired of listening to it.

EMILIO: Why don't you tell your boss here to knock it off?

JACK: (In his typical snarky Jack style.) Oooh, come now. You wash now in the shower in view? [Note: this line is difficult to decipher, this is just a guess as to what Jack is saying.]

JENNIFER: Emilio, will you please just go.

EMILIO: DEVERAUX! THAT'S IT! LISTEN! DeveREX (Purposefully mispronouncing his name.) one of these days I'm going to rip your little blue eyes out.

JENNIFER: Take a shower Emilio.

 

EMILIO STRUTS OFF IN DISGUST. JACK IS ENJOYING THE WHOLE SITUATION, HE WANTED TO PUSH EMILIO'S BUTTONS AND GET HIM TO REACT AS HE DID. JACK IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO SHOW JENNIFER THAT EMILIO JUST IS NOT THE RIGHT GUY FOR HER.

 

JACK: Ooh. Jennifer I don't know how....how do you put up with Tarzan Junior swinging through the trees and making a mess everywhere. Look at this.

JENNIFER: Jack why don't you just tell me what you're doing here, alright?

JACK: Alright. Young lady you have just been awarded the grant, the grant mind you, and the internship to be on my paper the whole of next year. Checks to ready right away. Pick em up....

JENNIFER: Jack that is so great. You know how much I wanted this.

JACK: Well Dr. Green was very impressed with your work.

JENNIFER: You're kidding. This is perfect. I work on The Spectator for a year and I get full credit for the whole time. This is so great.

JACK: You work very hard to earn it. All you have to do is keep working and you'll keep earning it. We'll discuss your schedule later.

JENNIFER: Okay.

EMILIO: Good news uh?

JENNIFER: Yeah. Remember the grant I was telling you about. The whole internship I was....

JACK: Ergh, ah Jennifer...ah excuse me Jennifer, did you see this?

JENNIFER: See what Jack?

JACK: (Enjoying it all.) Well it's right here in the gossip column. It says that Mr. Nick The Pimp Corelli and April Ramirez just had their marriage license issued.

JENNIFER: What?

JACK: It's right there between the deaths and divorces.

JENNIFER: What? I don't believe this. Does Mike know about this?

JACK: I don't know. It was certainly a very well kept secret don't you think?

JENNIFER: Emilio do you know anything about this?

EMILIO: (Non-challantly; but not wanting to give away too many details.) Well yeah. I was at the wedding.

 

JENNIFER IS UPSET BECAUSE, MIKE AND APRIL HAD BE ROMANTICALLY LINKED. SHE IS CONCERNED AS TO WHAT THIS WILL MEAN FOR HER BROTHER.

 

JENNIFER: What are you talking about? They're already married? Why didn't you tell me, I don't understand.

EMILIO: Well because I don't understand. April told me not to ask questions, you know. She just said she knows what she's doing.

JENNIFER: So you just let her go get married?

EMILIO: Hey what am I supposed to do? April's a big girl. Besides it's not my place to tell her what to do is it?

JACK: (Snarkily) That's very sweet of you. Very sweet.

EMILIO: Listen do you know where my black t-shirt is?

JENNIFER: Yeah it's in the basket over here. I'll help you find it.

 

EMILIO THUMPS JACK ON THE BACK AS HE WALKS AWAY.

SCENE TWO: LATER THAT DAY, JENNIFER GOES TO SEE DR. GREEN AT THE UNIVERSITY TO THANK HIM FOR THE GRANT AND INTERNSHIP. SHE ASKS HIM WHY SHE GOT SUCH A FANTASTIC GRANT AND HE TELLS HER THE WHOLE IDEA FOR THE GRANT AND THE MONEY CAME FROM THE SPECTATOR.

SCENE THREE: JACK IS WORKING IS ON THE PHONE IN HIS OFFICE WHEN JENNIFER BURSTS IN.

 

JACK: Well if you can't get me the information, I can certainly find someone else to get it for me today.

JENNIFER: I want to talk to you now. Get off the phone now! (She hits him.) I want to talk to you NOW, JACK!

JACK: (Rather enjoying the whole situation.) I think we're going to have to finish this conversation. I have a little office problem. Thank you.

JENNIFER: Get off the phone!

JACK: I was in the middle of a very important business....

JENNIFER: I don't care what you were in the middle of. I don't want to have anything more to do with this place anymore.

JACK: (Feigning innocence and ignorance; but completely guilty; and pleased with himself.) If you're finished, I have a lot of things I need to do.

JENNIFER: Oh like call the university and order me another Jack Special?

JACK: (Continuing his innocent act.) What are you talking about?

JENNIFER: Look I know this whole grant thing was your idea. You're the one who suggested this whole thing. I work on the paper for a whole year and I get credit. Don't even try to deny it okay Jack.

JACK: (Revealing in her feistiness. Playing along.) Okay, I won't.

JENNIFER: (Not at all fooled by Jack.) NO! No Jack, don't do this alright. You know after I figured this out I went to the dean's office and I found out that you're the one that put the money up for the grant and made a donation to the school. Probably a little pay off eh Jack?

JACK: Hmmm, oh well, so if it was. Maybe it was. What's the big deal anyway? You got the internship didn't you?

JENNIFER: No I didn't. You got it for me. I don't want your charity Jack. Alright?

 

SHE THROWS THE ENVELOPE ON HIS DESK.

 

JENNIFER: Why did you do this in the first place, uh? Why did you go to so much trouble to keep me on this paper?

JACK: Well maybe I didn't do it for you.

JENNIFER: Oh really Jack. Okay who did you do it for?

JACK: (Dodging the truth as usual.) Who do you think? I did it for me. I put a lot of work into training you and I want to see a return on all that training.

JENNIFER: Oh come on Jack. I think you can come up with something a little better than that, don't you?

JACK: (Making up another phoney excuse.) You're right, I can. I just made a whole lot of money and I saved a lot too. You see that donation to the school was nothing. It was a write-off and it was a whole helluva lot cheaper than having to pay an experienced reporter to do what you're already doing. So I think that this little business venture turned out to be pretty profitable, don't you?

JENNIFER: (Momentarily believing his excuse and disappointed) Really?

JACK: Really. (Beat) I'm very sorry Jennifer that it had to turn out this way....

JENNIFER: (She is on to Jack.) NO, NO! No, you're doing this again Jack. You see that. You know you're really impressing me on what a liar you are because I don't believe a word that you're saying. I don't believe one word.

JACK: Fine. Believe whatever you want to believe.

JENNIFER: NO! You're doing this because you want to keep me around. That's it, isn't it Jack?

 

JENNIFER HAS NAILED HIM DEAD TO RIGHTS. AND JACK IS SOMEWHAT UNCOMFORTABLE BY THE TRUTH. HE DID IT ALL BECAUSE HE WANTS HER WORKING WITH HIM.

 

JACK: I'm very sorry. I can't deal with anymore of this.

JENNIFER: You just want to keep me around so you can torment me every day of my life. That's why you did it Jack. You're not walking out of here.

JACK: I'm sorry. I really have to go. I really must go.

JENNIFER: You're not leaving Jack.

JACK: I really have to go. I can't stick around. I'm sorry, I really must go.

JENNIFER: Chicken! Err!

 

JACK WALKS OUT OF THE OFFICE, LOOKS AT THE ENVELOPE AND GIVES A SATISFIED LAUGH.

SCENE FOUR: JENNIFER RETURNS TO THE LOFT AND SHE IS FURIOUS AND STARTS THROWING THINGS AROUND. EMILIO TELLS HER THAT HE IS LEAVING THE LOFT BECAUSE HE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF HIS LITTLE BROTHER KNOW THAT APRIL HAS MARRIED NICK. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

 

JENNIFER: If you're selling door-to-door scholarships Jack, the answer is no.

JACK: (Giving her that Puppy-Dog Jack look.) How about peddling an apology?

JENNIFER: No Jack, I don't feel like hearing your a....

JACK: Well look, I just spent twenty minutes trying to pull my foot out of my mouth. Now you want to close the door on my foot. Keep it open just for my shoes if not for me. Okay? (Beat) Good.

 

HE WALKS INSIDE AND SHE SLAMS THE DOOR.

 

JACK: It's like a jungle in here.

JENNIFER: Why can't you be honest with me Jack, just for once?

 

JACK LICKS HIS FINGER AND HOLDS IT IN THE AIR.

 

JACK: The room mate!

EMILIO: Ex room mate.

JACK: Pardon?

EMILIO: Well didn't the lady tell you? I'm moving out.

JACK: (Very pleased.) Really?

JENNIFER: Yes, really Jack.

EMILIO: But don't worry about it, I'm going to be around a lot. You don't have a problem with that, do you Jackie boy?

JACK: Now why would I have a problem?

EMILIO: That's right. Why would you ever have a problem?

 

EMILIO WALKS UPSTAIRS.

 

JACK: Nothing bothers me.

 

JENNIFER GIVES HIM A CYNICAL LOOK.

SCENE FIVE: THE SHOW ENDS WITH A MUSICAL MONTAGE AS EMILIO LEAVES THE LOFT AND JACK WATCHES.

 

Yeah I used to be Mr .Understanding
I used to look on and not make a row
But know I'm on a different manner and that manner is
Cause once is enough.

Once is enough for anybody
Once is enough to fall in love
Once is enough to feel your heartbeat
Once is enough

Yeah I used to be able to handle rejection
I used to be so lonely and tough
I used fight for a woman's affection
But once is enough

Once is enough for anybody
Once is enough to fall in love
Once is enough to feel your heartbeat
Once is enough

Yeah baby you don't have to tell me two times
You can save your sweet breath because
I saw the way you looked away from my eyes
And once is enough.